My daughter turned 6 months old last Saturday. I was proud – of her and her development, of myself and my husband, of our family – and I decided to throw an impromptu party to show her off, since we never did the religious initiation like a baptism that is usually accompanied by a party. I think I literally gave myself less than a week to plan, shop for, and pull off this small party for immediate family. But I’ve always loved party planning, so I tackled the project with fervor, despite having an all day charity engagement the day before her party.
As I think about it, overall, the party was a success. People were fed and watered, everyone got to see The Captain (my daughter’s nickname), and despite some mild clashing of personalities, everyone had a good time.
Despite all of that, I think I probably had the worst time of anyone. I was stressed, overwhelmed, and disappointed that I wasn’t executing the vision in my head. I have an interesting cross-section of personality traits: overachiever and procrastinator. I have grand plans, but I wait until the last minute to do it all and it never turns out how I envision. My Pinterest boards are loaded with chic, natural, fun ideas, but I get wrapped up in life and never live up to my own expectations. On the day of my daughter’s party, I quickly realized things weren’t going to be what I wanted, and I felt disappointed in myself for not giving my family a stellar first showing.
This is a sad trend with modern families (mostly women, unfortunately) – the internet shows us the best versions of what we want to be, and if we don’t match up exactly, we feel like we’ve failed.
We need to stop being so hard on ourselves!
You are enough. If you are giving 100% – 80% – even just 50% – you know what you are capable of handling. Think you underperformed? Breathe, own it, and do better next time. The universe will never give you more than you can handle. So for today, our mantra is:
I DO MY BEST. I DO ENOUGH.
Because even if you think you can do better, you’re doing something, and even 1% is more than nothing. Start small and work your way up to 100% if you have to, but don’t judge yourself harshly for not living up to unrealistic expectations. Do things your own way, in your own time, and you are doing your best. The rest will fall into place.
In what ways are you too hard on yourself? How do you accept your shortcomings and work towards being your best self?